ABCD Diwali

21 Oct

Got this a long while ago on an email fwd…

A young second generation Indian in the US, is explaining the significance of Diwali to his younger brother. This is how he would go about it…….

So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kindofa bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was RAM (not Random Access Memory ), to some national forest or something…since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so…he decided to get his wife and bro along…u know…so that they could all chill out together.

But dude, the forest was reeeeeeeal scary shit…really man…they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked ass with some darts and bows and arrows…so it was fine.

But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called RAVAN, picks up his babe, SITA, and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and his bro, LAKSHMAN, pissed…And u dont piss this son-of-a-gun cuz, he just kicks ass and like…, all the gods were with him…so anyways, u dont mess with gods.

So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys…dude, dont ask me how they trained the damn monkeys…just go along with me, ok…so, ram, laks. and their monkeys whip this gangsta’s ass in his own hood.

Anyways, by this time, their time’s up in the forest…and anyways…it gets kinda boring, u know…no TV or malls or shit like that. So, they decided to hitch a ride back home…and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and wife are back home…they thought, well, u know, at least they deserve something nice…and they didnt have any bars or clubs in those days…so they couldn’t take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit…and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also…so it was pretty coooool…u know with all those fireworks…really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks…and u know, what, dude, that was the very 1st, no kidding…, that was the v. 1st music-synchronized fireworks…u know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, u know.

And , so dude, THAT was how, like, this festival, started.

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Posted by on October 21, 2006 in Humor


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