Viraat – who never lifted a finger himself – kinda shat in his dhoti when he heard the news of this invasion. Strangely, dance teacher Brihannala cleared his throat and revealed that (s)he was also a trained charioteer. If (s)he was given a chance to steer the valiant Prince Uttar into battle, the young Prince would mow down the Kauravs. Uttar was had neither a sense of warfare nor a sense of reality. He readily agreed and his parents – not far removed from fanstasy themselves – agreed too.
Don’t say that. Always say Allah.
What’s the difference?
Daddy, do you want to be beheaded too?
Do you want to be stoned to death?
Do you want to be flogged?
Do you want to get your arms chopped off?
Then stop asking silly questions. By the way, I won’t call you daddy anymore.
What will you call me then?
Whatever that is Arabic for daddy.
PP : All this is fine. What I don’t understand is how your auditors never caught on.
RR (mockingly) : What, that PWC crowd? I knew they wouldn’t StumbleUpon anything. They are just a bunch of Tweets.
The crowd twitters in mirth
Porsche’s ownership disclosure sent the hedge funds on such a flurry of purchases for any Volkswagen stock still in circulation that the VW share price jumped from below €200 to over €1000 at one point on October 28th, making Volkswagen for a brief time the world’s most valuable company by market cap.
On paper, Porsche made between €30-40 billion in the affair. Once all is said and done, the actual profit is closer to some €6-12 billion. To put those numbers in perspective, Porsche’s revenue for the whole year of 2006 was a bit over €7 billion.
Porsche’s move took three years of careful maneuvering. It was darkly brilliant, a wealth transfer ingeniously conceived like few we’ve ever seen. Betting the right way, Porsche roiled the financial markets and took the hedge funds for a fortune.
Betting the wrong way, Adolf Merckle took his life.
That leaves Ram Mynampati…the difficult task of boosting morale. In a letter to Satyam's 53,000 employees, Mynampati reminded them that Satyam had top-notch clients and was acknowledged as one of the three best employers in India…But "this quarter will be tumultuous for us," he said. "Rumors will abound and it would be fair to assume that competition will try and leverage it to their advantage."
The competition sure is trying. Already, Satyam customers are getting calls from other Indian IT providers offering their services. And life could get tough for Satyam's thousands of engineers and employees. Despite their valuable skills, IT companies are hiring fresh college grads over the more expensive, experienced hands. Still, with the IT business already suffering from the global downturn, a large competitor out of the way could mean more deals for Satyam's rivals—if they can overcome new doubts about the reliability of the country's IT industry.
Enron & Worldcom had changed the world of auditing from ‘Big 5’ to ‘Big 4’. The brazen fraud at Satyam has the potential to
shrink it to ‘Big 3’, at least in India. The falsification of accounts by Satyam for the past several years has put a question mark on the very survival of its auditor, PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC).
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What now? At this moment, the Indian market sure feels stinky. But this is good riddance. This is actually a good day. And we’ve learnt something, haven’t we? Just because a company’s name literally means ‘the truth’ and just because its chairman’s name literally means God’s sex organ, that doesn’t make the company a good buy.