What does a comedian really know about God anyway?
Since there is nothing to know about god, a comedian knows as much about god as any one else…An agnostic would say that since you can neither prove the existence nor the non-existence of God then the only answer to the question “Is there a God?” is “I don’t know.” Basically they are saying just because you haven’t found something yet doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Well firstly we have to know what definition of God we are asking about. Many can be dismissed as logical impossibilities…Let’s just say there is a definition of a God that is possible. Does he exist? “I don’t know” in this case is indeed the correct answer…Is there an elephant up your a—? Even if you’ve looked you can’t say “no.” It could be that you just haven’t found it yet. Please look again and this time really believe there is an elephant up there because however mad it sounds no one can prove that you don’t have a lovely big African elephant up your a—.
I see nothing “wrong” in believing in a god. I don’t think there is a god, but belief in him does no harm. If it helps you in any way, then that’s fine with me. It’s when belief starts infringing on other people’s rights when it worries me…It’s strange that anyone who believes that an all-powerful all-knowing, omniscient power responsible for everything that happens, would also want to judge and punish people for what they are…
“Do unto others…” is a good rule of thumb. I live by that. Forgiveness is probably the greatest virtue there is. But that’s exactly what it is -‐ a virtue. Not just a Christian virtue. No one owns being good. I’m good. I just don’t believe I’ll be rewarded for it in heaven. My reward is here and now. It’s knowing that I try to do the right thing. That I lived a good life. And that’s where spirituality really lost its way. When it became a stick to beat people with. “Do this or you’ll burn in hell.”
You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
To your staff, the gift of listening, asking, and inclusion
To your manager, the gift of your commitment and follow through to getting the job done
To your peers, the gift of support and solidarity
To your customers, the gift of high touch, high quality products and services
To those who disagree, the gift of understanding their point of view
To those who don’t speak up, the gift of asking them to share their thoughts
To those who fear for their jobs, the gift of honesty or reassurance (whichever makes sense)
To your superstars, the gift of challenging work
To those who struggle with their work, the gift of helping them to find a better fit
To your family and friends, the gift of your time and your heart
To everyone you come in contact with, the gift of letting them know that they matter.